Last week I read that the Mad Men’s main actor, John Hamm’s girlfriend has left him after 18 years together. Her reason? Because of his lack of commitment. At first thought, it’s shocking that it took her 18 years to realise that. Okay perhaps she had realised that for a while but decided to stay on and hoped that something will happen between them someday. But isn’t 18 years a little bit too long of a time to take?
I can’t do that. I don’t think so.
I am not an expert when it comes to love or relationship. Some people could probably totally agree with that. But I know for sure that love is not measured by how long two people have been together. As for me, I have not been in a relationship for more than two years. Not that I’m into short-term relationships. In fact, I am all for long-term relationships but it just didn’t happen for me for a lot of reasons. I think I’ve learned enough and grew from it. Thankfully.
To be honest, I have always admired friends who can stay with their boyfriend or girlfriend for long. By long, I mean more than two years because two years is kind of normal for everyone. And all I can see for these people is that they will end up getting married. Because to me, why would you spend years with someone and end up with nothing? I cannot forgive myself if that happened to me.
But sadly I have seen friends who broke up after six years together, and another after eight years. All I can think of is, what a waste of many years. I feel sorry for them. Then again, no one wants to be with someone for many years and not end up getting married. Most importantly, happily married. We can only try. Who knew what’s going to happen in the end?
For me, if people got married just after a year together, or even 6 months, that’s fine. That does not mean they are not going to be happy because “they don’t know each other too well yet”. Please, people who know each other too well, are divorced too.
So back to John Hamm’s girlfriend. I think she only had herself to blame for the break up. She spent 18 years with a man only to realise he lacks commitment. Not 8 months, not 8 years but bloody 18 years! You can’t say you are in a long-term relationship but are not expecting something. Even if you love that someone so much, there’s got to be an end game. At least for me, because I have a plan for my life. And if I found someone who has the same plans as me, love me as much as I love him or more, than I am forever grateful.